Do you feel locked in a battle of wills and your child always seems to win? How often have you told them to do something and instead they ignore you? Or throw a tantrum if you ask they not do something they want to do. Is this only a phase? Should you just hope they grow out of it? Don’t worry. There are a number of tried and true techniques you can try to get your own Gold Star Kid.
Take the lead. Your child will not accept your role as a leader unless he sees you taking the lead. So, in a balanced way, you need to assert your authority. Recently, some have made the word “authority” sound harsh. One even calls parental authority “unethical” and “immoral.” But the alternative—permissiveness—can leave children feeling confused, indulged, and entitled.
Be clear. Some parents ask to vaguely for their child to do something. (“I would like you to clean up your room—OK?”) Perhaps they feel that this shows good manners. That tactic, however, can put the parent in a submissive role and leave the child free to weigh the pros and cons of the request and then decide whether to comply. Rather than sounding submissive, give clear direction in the form of statements.
Be decisive. If you say no, stick to that. If you have decided on a consequence for disobedience, follow through. Do not get caught up in negotiations or endlessly discuss why you made a decision.
Before you know it, your child will be doing things without you even asking. However you want to measure the success of this Brag Badge, the Gold Star Kid can go a very long way in giving the incentive needed to behave.
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